Jubilant Dissension (marynificent) wrote,
Jubilant Dissension

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Difficult things to say when drunk.

sent to me from my dear british friend aaron, who read these in the most eloquent of accents. Next time we meet for drinks, I am bringing the list:

1. Things that are difficult to say when you're drunk...

a) Innovative

b) Preliminary

c) Proliferation

d) Cinnamon

e) Anonymous

2. Things that are VERY difficult to say when you're drunk...

a) Specificity

b) British Constitution

c) Passive-aggressive disorder

d) Transubstantiate

e) Instantaneous

3. Things that are DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE to say when you're drunk...

a) Thanks, but I don't want to sleep with you.

b) Nope, no more booze for me.

c) Sorry, but you're not really my type.

d) No kebab for me, thank you.

e) Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?

f) I'm not interested in fighting you.

g) Oh, I just couldn't - no one wants to hear me sing.

h) Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have zero

i) Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to vomit in the street.

j) I must be going home now as I have work in the morning.

k) Look, it would be great to have a shag but I hardly know you and we
will only feel really embarrassed and awkward in the morning.

l) That guy is looking at my girlfriend but I am sure its just because he
knows her or something.

m) That chair looks wobbly and dangerous and I certainly wouldn't try
balancing on it with this short skirt on in case I fell off.

n) I must get to my bed as I could never have a really good sleep in that

o) I really believe in prohibition.

p) I honestly don't think the rest of the city centre wants to see my bare

q) No..you are not my bestest mate in the whole world. I've only known you
for a few hours.

r) I'm sure those young women are extremely intelligent and have wonderful

s) Im sure my feet would be damaged for life if I take my shoes off and
walk all the way home.

t) A creamy cocktail followed by 4 shots of tequila...?.surely that would
be no good for my insides.

u) Me? go for a pee in the mens room because the ladies queue is too long?
I don't think so.

v) I'll just have a big glass of water before I go to bed so I don't have
hangover in the morning.
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